What a past few days that has been, inflammatory comments made by people who should really know better and divisive journalism from people who know exactly what they are doing.
Where does these actions leave the most of us in the UK who are looking on, simply asking for better, kinder, and respectful leadership?
We are so polarised just now don’t you think? You just have to watch the likes of BBC Question Time or scroll through social media feeds to witness harmful discourse between Members of parliament as well as members of the public. The PM’s latest speech on the doorstep of Number 10 was plain and simple designed again to polarise the country. Leaders should be seeking togetherness, not the opposite.
“Fuck you, no fuck you. You’re an idiot, no you’re an idiot”. In my opinion this ‘shit’ is going to keep happening until we see something radically change in how we connect and communicate with others. Please excuse my outburst but come on, this is where we are just now. We better come together soon.
In my work I find that hostility and aggression evolves, changes shape and become more intense. I also find that once started, people tend to become more committed helpers.
This past week we have seen individuals speaking in a way that suggests they perceive they hold a majority view. My view is that they don’t represent most UK citizens. However, unless people act, this minority will continue to think they represent a majority. This false consensus is evident across our country and indeed the world.
So what can each of us do to create or recreate friendly relations among individuals and in our country as a whole?
A core problem is the tremendous division between people on the different parts of the political spectrum: right, left and middle.
With such divisions, we appear unable to act decisively and with wisdom in the world. A profound issue is leaders and others who advocate and plan destructive actions or who belittle other human beings simply because they are of a different race or religion. Politicians across the parties are a big part of this. Words like traitors being flung around with little thought to the current situation.
The issue of knife related violence in the UK is huge, and stabbing other people has become “normal.” Let’s be clear if people from outside the UK engaged in that kind of violence against us, we would act forcefully together against them.
Most of us feel helpless in the face of all this. It reminds me of this quote by US anthropologist Alice Walker
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
But there are many things we can do, even if we must act on principle, sustained by faith that what we and others do will make a difference.
Starting with the large UK picture, we must work on building a constructive ideology, in place of destructive ones or visions of the future that involve us all. We need one that can attract many people and lead to change. Should we get a new government in the coming year this must be the first priority. If not we will spend time batting that ball back and forth.
We are all UK citizens and most of us love this country, even if in different ways. We need to engage with each other and learn to communicate with people who we don’t agree with. You know what it’s ok to disagree. There, i’ve said it. I disagree with you and thats ok.
We need to foster everyone becoming an active bystander. When people learn the skills of active bystandership we equip them with skills and strategies to be the community members who look out for others.
We all can’t do everything but there are things we can do. We can engage other people in conversation, expressing ourselves in a mild, non-confrontational manner.
We can create gatherings, in our homes, in our communities where we bring together people for discussion of our difference and commonalities. We can be proactively kind to others. This is how relationships grow. Kindness is easy. It actually makes us feel better about ourselves. Try it – Be purposely kind to someone.
Doing these things requires time and effort but many of them are not hugely demanding. If many people did these kinds of things, it could make a real difference in the quality of life in our country.
We have more in common than which divides us. A statement made by a member of parliament in her maiden speech after becoming an MP. Jo Cox was that MP and in this quote she captures a lot of what I say above. Her vision was to bring people together. Her murder was a shock to the country. In the aftermath of her murder, we talked about coming together. These last days suggest we have forgotten the meaning in her words.
My vision is to bring people together. Who’s with me|?
We can and must do better.
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