The moment you describe violence as “a men’s issue”, someone will inevitably reply: “Not all men.” They’re right. Not all men commit violence. Not all men harass women.
Not all men abuse their partners. But that’s never been the point. The real question isn’t whether all men are violent. The question is whether men have a unique. Responsibility and opportunity to reduce violence committed by men.
The answer is yes. That is why violence is a men’s issue.
As a man, not as a police officer I was asked many years ago what I was doing to prevent violence. My initial responses were internal. “I don’t commit violence, what’s it got to do with me?”
Statistics aren’t accusations
When people hear “men’s issue”, many hear blame. What they should hear is evidence. Across the UK and internationally, men commit the overwhelming majority of serious violent crime. Men are also responsible for most sexual offences, domestic abuse involving serious physical violence, homicide and public violence. Likewise, the overwhelming majority of victims of violence against women and girls report male perpetrators. Same goes for male victims of violence who are harmed by other men. It appears men and women share a common foe, abusive and violent men.
These aren’t opinions. They’re patterns. Recognising patterns isn’t prejudice. It’s how prevention begins. Public health doesn’t ignore where risk is concentrated. Neither should violence prevention.
We’ve made this mistake before
Imagine saying drink driving is a road safety issue. Nobody assumes every driver drinks and drives. Imagine saying smoking is a public health issue. Nobody assumes every smoker gets lung cancer. We understand these statements describe where intervention is needed most. Violence is no different.
Calling violence against women a men’s issue isn’t about assigning collective guilt.
It’s about identifying where meaningful change can happen.
Most men don’t offend…but almost every man influences other men.
That is the conversation we still aren’t having. Most prevention campaigns focus on offenders. That’s Understandable but offenders don’t exist in isolation. They have friends, workmates, teammates, brothers, colleagues.
People who hear the jokes. People who see behaviour becoming controlling. People who witness harassment. People who suspect something isn’t right. The biggest missed opportunity in violence prevention isn’t identifying offenders. It’s mobilising everyone around them.
Violence grows inside cultures
We often imagine violence as an individual choice. Sometimes it is but violence also grows inside environments. Cultures where disrespect towards women is rewarded.
Cultures where physical strength becomes the aspiration. Cultures where rejection becomes humiliation. Cultures where sexual entitlement is admired. Cultures where misogyny is disguised as humour. Cultures where silence is mistaken for loyalty.
Very few young men invent these norms alone. They inherit them. They copy them.
They reinforce them. Or they challenge them. That’s why men matter.
Alan Berkowitz asked a different question
Social norms researcher and pioneer Alan Berkowitz argued that people often behave according to what they think everyone else believes, not what they themselves believe. Young men routinely overestimate how comfortable other men are with sexism, harassment and coercive behaviour. In reality, many don’t approve at all. They’re simply waiting for someone else to speak first. That misunderstanding is incredibly powerful.
If I believe every other man thinks something is acceptable. I’m less likely to challenge it. If I discover most don’t, challenging suddenly becomes much easier. Violence prevention isn’t only about changing attitudes. Sometimes it’s about revealing the attitudes that were already there.
Jackson Katz moved the conversation on
Dr. Jackson Katz has spent decades arguing that violence against women should be framed as a men’s issue. Not because all men are responsible but because men are central to the solution. He asks a brilliantly simple question. Instead of asking men whether they would ever assault someone, ask what they do when another man starts crossing the line.
That’s where prevention lives. Not after violence, but before it. It was Jackson that asked me the question I shared above.
This is why active bystandership matters
Active bystandership changes the conversation completely. Instead of asking: “Are you a good man?” It asks: “What do good men do?”
They interrupt.
They question.
They support.
They distract.
They check in.
They refuse to laugh.
They challenge mates privately.
They understand that saying nothing is also communicating something. Every intervention changes what the group believes is normal. Every intervention makes the next intervention easier. Culture changes conversation by conversation.
Active bystanders provide the permission needed for men to speak up.
Police Scotland understood this
Police Scotland’s That Guy campaign didn’t tell women how to stay safe. It asked men to think about the choices they make. More importantly it asked men to think about the choices their friends make. That is a significant shift because violence prevention isn’t simply about stopping offenders. It’s about preventing people becoming offenders and peers are often best placed to do that.
Significant reduction in violence will occur when friends get involved. We’ve already seen this success in action. The US drink driving campaign in the 1990’s used a simply but powerful line “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk”. The message led to 68% of US citizens taking car keys off their friends. Imagine if we harnessed that power to address all forms of violence committed by men.
This was the central theme I helped add to the That Guy campaign. The idea that friends stop friends from harassing women, from using sexualised language excused as banter. The campaign made the links between words and physical violence, and it also provided men with the tools to be better friends.
So, is violence a men’s issue?
Yes. Not because every man is violent. Not because men should carry collective guilt. Not because women don’t use violence. It is a men’s issue because men commit most violence. Because men influence other men. Because male peer cultures shape what becomes normal. Because silence protects harmful norms. Because intervention changes them.
Calling violence, a men’s issue isn’t about blaming men. It’s about believing men matter. It is about recognising that if men helped build many of the norms that sustain violence, then men can also help dismantle them. That isn’t an accusation. It’s an invitation to all men.
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