Look at this image. It’s a question I ask participants in all of my trainings. Focus on the man, arms folded, wearing a checked shirt. In front of him and the others present a man is being slowly suffocated, by serving Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin. He’s simply standing there. Others in front of him are clearly shouting at the officers. Some are filming the horrible scene unfolding in front of them.
The bystander seen watching the murder of George Floyd with his arms folded while wearing a checked shirt is Charles McMillian. McMillian, who was 61 years old at the time of the incident, was driving by Cup Foods on May 25, 2020, and stopped to see what was happening. He initially tried to get Floyd to comply with the officers. He later tearfully testified during Derek Chauvin’s trial.
There is a temptation to believe that making a difference always requires action. That unless we intervene, fix, solve or rescue, we have somehow failed. But there is another form of leadership that is often overlooked. It begins with simply showing up.
Bearing witness is one of the most underrated acts in society. It isn’t passive. It isn’t weakness. It isn’t standing by doing nothing. It is the conscious decision to be present, to acknowledge another person’s reality and, when the time is right, to let them know they are not facing it alone. We all have the option of walking by, changing the channel, tuning out. Standing still and watching may not be the most direct way to intervene but it’s an intervention nonetheless.
Sometimes, your presence changes everything before you’ve even said a word. Your presence is your superpower.
We underestimate the importance of being seen
Most people don’t simply want solutions. They want to know someone has noticed.
Whether it’s a colleague struggling in silence, a victim of abuse, a neighbour facing loss or an officer questioning whether they still belong, the first need is often recognition.
“I see you.” Those three unspoken words carry enormous weight.
Research consistently shows that feeling seen and valued is fundamental to wellbeing and resilience. Human beings are social creatures. We regulate our emotions through connection with others. Isolation magnifies distress. Presence reduces it. This is why the simple act of sitting beside someone, listening without judgement or acknowledging their pain can be profoundly therapeutic. In fact Neuroscientist suggested these moments of connection actually provide a single dose of therapy. I love that concept.
Presence comes before intervention
In violence prevention, policing and leadership we often focus on intervention. How do we stop harm? How do we challenge behaviour? How do we prevent escalation? These are important questions. But intervention nearly always begins with observation.
You cannot protect what you fail to notice. The officer who spots the colleague withdrawing. The teammate who notices someone no longer joins conversations.
The friend who recognises someone’s smile has become a mask.
Every intervention starts because someone first bore witness. Without witnesses there can be no action. Presence helps us all move from noticing to taking responsibility, a key part of the bystander journey identified by social scientists John Darley and Bibb Latane in 1968.
Bearing witness creates psychological safety
Many people think psychological safety comes from policies or leadership statements.
It doesn’t. It comes from people. It grows when individuals consistently communicate:
“You matter here.” “You’re not invisible.” “I won’t look away.” When people know others notice them, they are more likely to speak up about mistakes, challenge inappropriate behaviour and ask for help.
Communities become stronger not because everyone is brave all the time, but because people know someone will stand with them.
Why people look away
If bearing witness is so powerful, why don’t we do it more often? Usually because of fear. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of making matters worse. Fear of becoming involved. Fear of social consequences. This is where discussions about the “bystander effect” often become too simplistic. People rarely fail to act because they don’t care.
More often they are navigating uncertainty, hierarchy, lack of confidence, lack of support and ambiguity.
Another, more simplistic reason we don’t bear witness more often is because we rarley talk about it’s power. In the aftermath of incidents such as sexual harassment on trains, radio shows and commentators often ask, “Should you step in?” This blunt question removes the opportunity to discuss the power of presence, preventing listeners talking about the other ways that bystanders can intervene. Discussions that widen our toolkit will go a long way to reassuring people that there’s many things they can do to help. Remember the best person to intervene is someone motivated and equipped to act.
Understanding all these barriers matters because it shifts the conversation away from blame and towards building capability. If we want more active communities, we must make it easier for people to notice, acknowledge and support one another.
Bearing witness isn’t about fixing people
One of the biggest myths is that helping means having the answer. It doesn’t. Many people don’t need advice, they need company. Think about grief. There are no perfect words. Yet we still attend funerals. We still sit beside friends. We still make tea. We still listen.
Not because we can remove the pain, but because no one should carry it alone. Presence communicates something words cannot: “I’m here.” Often that is enough.
In policing, presence builds culture
Culture isn’t built in training rooms. It’s built in everyday moments. The sergeant who notices a tired constable. The experienced officer who quietly checks in after a difficult incident. The colleague who stays behind after a traumatic job rather than rushing home. None of these moments appear in performance data. Yet collectively they shape whether people feel valued.
The healthiest organisations aren’t those with the fewest problems. They’re the ones where people refuse to let each other become invisible.
Communities are built by witnesses
Strong communities don’t emerge because everyone agrees. They emerge because people remain connected. Communities unravel when people stop noticing one another. When loneliness goes unseen. When poor behaviour goes unchallenged. When suffering becomes someone else’s problem. Bearing witness interrupts that process. It reminds us that responsibility isn’t always about taking over.
Sometimes it’s simply about refusing to look away.
Your presence is contagious
Something remarkable happens when one person chooses to stay present. Others often follow. A single person asking, “Are you alright?” makes it easier for someone else to ask the same tomorrow. One colleague challenging disrespect gives others permission to do likewise. One neighbour checking on an elderly resident inspires others to reconnect. Communities spread behaviour through observation. People copy what they repeatedly see.
Presence creates more presence. Leaders create leaders.
We all have this superpower
Not everyone can donate thousands of pounds. Not everyone can volunteer every weekend. Not everyone can solve complex social problems. But everyone can notice.
Everyone can listen.
Everyone can acknowledge.
Everyone can stay.
These are ordinary acts. Yet they produce extraordinary outcomes because they remind people they matter. In a world increasingly distracted by screens, algorithms and constant noise, genuine human presence has become rare. Which makes it even more valuable.
Final thought
We often celebrate heroes as those who rush into danger, rightly so. But there is another kind of hero.
The colleague who notices.
The friend who stays.
The neighbour who listens.
The leader who makes time.
The witness who refuses to look away.
Violence prevention begins with noticing. Wellbeing begins with noticing. Belonging begins with noticing. Communities begin with noticing. Before we can change someone’s world, we must first let them know we have seen it.
Sometimes the greatest gift we can offer another human being isn’t advice, authority or answers. It’s our presence, and that may be the greatest superpower any of us possesses.
Thank you for being you.
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