Being approachable and coachable are essential ingredients of a culture of active bystandership.
In my work on active bystandership, I spend a considerable amount of time exploring why people fail to intervene when they witness something concerning. We examine the psychology of inaction, the influence of hierarchy, the fear of consequences and the social pressures that can prevent people from speaking up. I also spend time equipping people with the skills and confidence to act. But there is another dimension to this work that I believe deserves equal attention.
What happens when someone does speak up?
How do we respond when a colleague challenges our behaviour, questions our decisions or offers feedback that makes us uncomfortable?
For me, being approachable and being coachable are fundamental to creating a culture where active bystandership can flourish.
They are two sides of the same coin.
Approachability: Creating the conditions for action
Imagine a colleague witnessing a concerning interaction between two members of their team. They recognise that something isn’t right. They want to intervene, but the person responsible is more senior, more experienced or simply someone who doesn’t respond well to criticism.
Before acting, they might ask themselves: “Will they listen to me?” “Will I make things worse?” “What will happen to our relationship if I challenge them?”
These are important questions. The decision to intervene is not simply about recognising harm. It is also about anticipating the consequences of acting. An approachable colleague or leader can help reduce some of these concerns.
Approachability is not simply about being friendly, having an open-door policy or telling people that they can come to you with anything. It is demonstrated through our everyday behaviours.
Do we listen without immediately becoming defensive?
Do we welcome questions?
Do we respond respectfully when someone disagrees with us?
Do we make it easier for people to raise concerns, particularly when those concerns involve us?
The real test of approachability isn’t how we respond to good news. It is how we respond to uncomfortable truths. If people repeatedly experience dismissive or defensive responses, they will learn. They may still recognise harmful behaviour, but they will become less likely to challenge it.
Our behaviour can either create permission to speak up or quietly remove it.
Coachability: The humility to be challenged
Being approachable creates an opportunity for someone to speak. Being coachable determines what happens next. Imagine a junior colleague approaches a senior leader and says: “I noticed something in the way you spoke to that person earlier. I don’t think it landed particularly well.”
The leader has a choice. They can defend their behaviour, question the colleague’s motives or dismiss the observation. Alternatively, they might respond: “Thank you for telling me. I hadn’t considered how it might have come across. Can you tell me more?”
That response demonstrates something powerful. It acknowledges that our intentions do not always match our impact. It recognises that our position, experience or authority does not make us immune to mistakes. Being coachable requires humility. It means accepting that we have blind spots and that others may see things we cannot.
It also means recognising that feedback is not necessarily an attack on our character. It may be an opportunity to become a better colleague, leader or friend.
In a healthy culture, challenge is not interpreted as disloyalty. It is understood as an expression of commitment.
Active bystandership works both ways
We often focus on the courage required to intervene. That is understandable. Fear is a significant inhibitor of active bystandership. However, I believe we need to place equal emphasis on the responsibility to receive intervention.
We cannot expect people to find the courage to speak up if those around them are unwilling to listen. Consider an organisation that invests in active bystandership training. Employees learn how to recognise concerning behaviour, develop intervention skills and understand the importance of taking action. That’s great but what happens when someone challenges a senior colleague, and that colleague responds with anger or defensiveness. What happens next?
The organisation has created a contradiction. It encourages people to speak up through training but discourages them through everyday behaviour. The lesson people learn is not necessarily the one contained in the training programme. This is why leaders have such an important role to play. They must model the behaviours they expect from others.
A leader who welcomes challenge, acknowledges mistakes and demonstrates a willingness to change sends a powerful message. They show that speaking up is valued, even when the conversation is uncomfortable.
A question worth asking
I often encourage leaders to reflect on two questions: If someone in my team witnessed me doing something wrong, would they feel confident enough to tell me?
And perhaps more importantly: If they did tell me, would my response encourage them to do it again?
These questions move us beyond simply measuring whether people have received training. They encourage us to examine the everyday behaviours that shape organisational culture. They also remind us that active bystandership is not solely about intervening in the behaviour of others. Sometimes, it requires us to accept that our own behaviour needs to change.
The courage to speak. The humility to listen.
Creating a culture of active bystandership requires more than courageous individuals. It requires people who are willing to make intervention possible and worthwhile. We need colleagues who are approachable enough to hear difficult messages and coachable enough to learn from them.
We need leaders who understand that authority does not remove the responsibility to listen and we need organisations where challenge is recognised as an act of care, rather than an act of disloyalty.
Active bystandership is not simply about having the courage to intervene in someone else’s behaviour. Sometimes, it is about having the humility to recognise that someone else has just intervened in ours.
